this whole crying every day thing should probably stop soon. it's getting to be rather exhausting.

I wish I could live in the fake theater world forever. everything there is fun and carefree and no one judges me for being a complete weirdo that doesn't really fit anywhere else.

but then we all leave the walls of that building and go back to our so-called lives.

too bad I don't really have one to call my own.

hi, I'm Megan, and I don't know who I am or where I belong. I'm that piece of the puzzle that got put in the wrong box. I need to find my puzzle. I just want to fit.

these dreams need to fucking stop. seriously. it's every day I wake up feeling like this. and I'm sick of it.

and I can't even tell anyone. no one understands. I know I need to stop thinking what I'm thinking. but the thing is, I don't want to. is that absolutely terrible?

hasn't anyone heard that if you can't go a day without thinking about someone, maybe you shouldn't stop? fweohtawetihwotas. with that mindset, I'll never get over you. dammit.

dear you:

stop doing what you're doing. seriously. you're the most confusing person I know. but we have so much fun. notevenfair. but is that how you are with everyone? because when it's just you and me, things are lovely. we even seclude ourselves from others. because we have too much in common.

I don't think that's ever going to change. and it scares me.

I really just wish I was passionate about something right now. perhaps the reason I don't seem to care is because I really actually don't. there isn't one thing or one person in my life that rocks my world. and this is a very sad thing to me. hopefully the summer will bring excitement and happiness into my life once again. because at this point in time, everything is just blah. and I'm starting to get rather sick of it.

exciting moments come and go, but I'm not really happy. I just want to be truly happy like I've been in the past.

this is ridiculous. it's a beautiful day outside, but here I am sitting inside by the window looking out at the world wishing my life were less dull. how pathetic.

but I'm done complaining outloud. that only gets me into trouble. there's only a little over a week to go. I can make it.

um. let's talk about this stressful life of mine. i need to think about school. i have so much i need to get done.

but then there are MAJOR things that are preventing me from doing that. thanks, confusion and saturday night and boys and past memories and feelings. am i supposed to ignore you? i don't even know what's going on. because i'm obviously not alone on this. you were there. you know.

and then i listened to that song of ours today..

"I'd give it all for you by my side once more."

..and i cried forever.

thanks for the opportune timing.